Attitude Problems

“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our Attitudes.”
--Charles R. Swindoll

Day in and day out, Our attitudes shift from moments of sheer empowerment to utter helplessness. This is normal. We base so much of our attitude on things outside ourselves, and consequently our attitude becomes eroded under false pretenses. That is we live a lie. We become hollow and disenchanted with the way this world works: all because things don’t go our way.

Why does this happen? Simply put, we neglect to acknowledge our personal resources many times. The mind is a powerful thing, but so is our perceived reality. When you wake, do you feel compelled to consider the myriad of issues going on in your life? Do you have frustrations with love, regrets from your past, an undying fear of failure---a feeling that you are always one step away from losing it all? We ponder constantly the state of things around us. But what are we really doing? What are we really looking for when our thoughts begin to race?

By looking outside yourself to find answers, you are stripping yourself of control in your situation. This is a fact to come to terms with. The only way to properly deal with life and its many obstacles and tests is to arm yourself with convictions and principles that make the tough decisions for you. Experience is indeed the greatest teacher, but  the mind and our ability to reason can eliminate the need for primitive bits of trial and error. It really is a matter of exercising common sense in some situations. But is it ever so easy to make the "right" decision? Even if you know it?

For example---most of our problems in life stem from silly vices--each with its own story and its own purpose in compensating for some personal lack on our part. We smoke to calm our nerves, to pass the time---a habit that stems almost directly from the insecurities we possess in regard to dealing with everyday life (traffic, boredom, work, etc.). Often, we seek external validation because we're not confident enough in our own abilities and talents. We are at times fiends for companionship and it is undoubtedly a reflection of the larger problems we have bonding with and befriending others. We fear failure because of mistakes we've made in our past. These are things we know. But again, what are we supposed to do with this information? Why is it that we remain helpless even when we are equipped with the knowledge to take direct action? Fear perhaps? Denial? Frustration that these vices even exist? All answers that beg more questions as to how to deal with them.

Fact is, negative thought patterns are rarely a case of ignorance. Surely, if anyone took the time to evaluate their own negative habits and behaviors, they'll find real connections between their actions and their perceived needs. It is our nature as humans to fulfill certain desires. It is the responsibility of high level processes in our mind to discern right from wrong in the process of fulfilling those desires. The problem comes when our desires (and the brains that house them) become tainted with negative influences. Our mental attitudes these days are so easily manipulated. Factors like instant gratification, lust and infatuation, fear, doubt, misplaced trust can all cause us to be mentally predisposed to cynicism and disillusion. Broken hearts, disaster or trauma, utter disappointment, they can each ruin our mindsets if we allow it. So then the challenge becomes recognizing and transforming our thought patterns to react to adversary. We must use reason to positively adapt our attitudes.

As humans, we fail to properly nurture our attitudes. We believe it to be some abstract result of things beyond our control.  How many times have you heard or uttered the phrase "this is just who I am". Unfortunately this is not who you are. Perception is reality; the negativity you see and feel is not the world you have to embrace for yourself. You must perceive differently.

So how does one change his thought patterns? How do we regain control of our mental lives?

We must change our entire attitude about life.