Building Self Confidence: Defining Your Own Truths and Creating Your Reality

Self-confidence starts with internal motivation. People who are self-confident define their own positive truths about themselves and their capabilities. Those who lack self-confidence have allowed the outside world to influence their self-perception. The media, friends, family, they all will try to tell you how you should feel about yourself. They want you to believe their truths. However, once you separate from the reality and truth born from outside influences, you can establish a new set of internal truths and create your own positive reality.

The best way to create a positive reality and establish positive truths is to optimize your own thoughts and actions, your own time and effort. This new truth, defined through maximizing personal resources, becomes productivity, advancement, and forward thinking. The power of personal, productive truth, springing forth from the inside, is unlimited.

Those with self-confidence are in control. By defining your reality from within, your mind becomes a tool for manipulating the world around you. Manipulation isn't a bad thing. The connotations around that word are overstated. It is in this case, adapting to your situation, and creating what you have decided is an optimal outcome.

Find and locate ways to make the universe an open stage rather than a prison. Here are examples of positive internal truths that will help you build self-confidence. For your positive reality to manifest on the outside, you must believe in these truths on the inside. 

1. You are and will always be a product of greatness, so therefore your actions are tailored to maintain such. Because of this, your every word, every behavior, every decision is based in making not only yourself comfortable, but every person around me.

2. Your interactions are designed as opportunities to make positive, productive impressions that last. Create in every person a curious urge, a thirst for that "it" factor.

3.Design your endeavors around maximizing your potential for greatness. Carry yourself with the confidence and knowledge that your destiny is fullness and abundance. Drill this belief into your head and delete from your thoughts anything contradictory to it.

4. Negativity is naught. It does not exist. To eliminate it is of utmost importance.

5. Harnessing creative potential, you can separate yourself from those who at first glance, are similar to you. This is the definition of personal style, the collective of your personality and abilities, your practice, your walk, your swagger.


With these things in mind, you have set the groundwork for building and maintaining an effective level of self-confidence. As you optimize your thoughts, establish a foundation of internal truth. Live by those truths and never forsake them.

The Essence of a True Friend: On Interaction (Thank you)

Our friends, our families, the people we come across and converse with for a moment in the eternity of life, they all serve a very real purpose that it's to our advantage to understand. The people in my life have all revealed themselves in some way as to how they serve (or served) a role in my life and growth. For a while we assume we know the roles of people, we create these assumptions based on societal understanding and standards independent of what's actual, real and in front of our eyes. Until we break through that wall of assumption, we never understand the essence of a true friend.

Some feel blood, maybe time,emotional, material or informative gain defines what a person means to us. And that is fine, but what truly teaches beyond that is the motivation. The motivation and nature of the heart of the person defines what they mean for us.

Have you ever wondered why some friends seem so real and others don't? Why there are some people who you might not see for years who you have genuine interaction with and some "friends" you see everyday you never form that real bond with? It's because a real friend's heart is after love. A true friend. And a heart after love is concerned with the life of other people. A true friend doesn't seek what they can gain from another, but what they can give to people in light of their wisdom, knowledge and resources. When these types of people come together, you have the truest, most productive friendship you can ever imagine. It's why as we mature, even in the absence of those we grew to see as our friends, there is still much to talk about and share among people who've reached this understanding. It's why real friends are rare. Friendship is the manifestation of love. Without love and a natural, authentic concern for what you can give to people, your friendships will fail or succumb to things like time, absence, and circumstance.

Ever wonder why you can sometimes come across a person you don't even know, who might notice you're sad or just wants to talk and you have the most fulfilling conversation you've ever had? As if this person has known you for a lifetime? If a person obtains a loving nature and a heart after caring, that carries over into all interactions, not just friendships. A person with such a nature is a friend to everyone, because the entire foundation of a friendship is love and one who loves befriends.

The people around me have all shown their motivations. It's not a coincidence that some people I once trusted or loved are no longer parts of my life. They exhausted whatever temporary and baseless resource they had to share or exhausted their use of me and now lack any reason to deal with me and I with them. That's what it means to "grow out" of a person. Love is infinite. If a person loves you and gives you love, they will never run out of love to give. If you love them back, you'll come to find there is a never ending supply and this is why friendships of this type last forever, through thick and through thin, and overcome whatever obstacles come in the way. Love is all powerful.

So I implore you consider the hearts of those you interact with. Everyone you come in contact with should see that love coming from you and should give you love the same. Their minds and hearts should be selfless and their purpose in talking to you should be to share and gain things of substance, not temporary matters that leave at the first wind of change. Motives are everything, and as such should be kept in mind at all times for yourself and others.

You should be thankful for the friends you have that have a real concern for the state of your being, for the lessons that you learn and their role in your growth as an individual. The fruits thereof are peace and endurance in your relationship. Be thankful for the people no longer in your life because they lacked love and be thankful that you possess this nature because it ensures positive vibes all around you. And love will most certainly attract love and in most cases influence change for the better. I thank every friend I have who has loved me in spite of. For what in all this Earth is closer to God than love?

The Rules of Realist Thought

The beauty of realism is seeing things for what they truly are. Another cool thing about it is it allows you to give equal credence to fleeting emotions and the reality of the circumstances around you. Realists don't place their hopes in the impractical (idealists), nor are they ignorant enough to believe they have no control over their own world (pessimistic victims). Bad things really do happen, so no optimistic illusions, and as for cynics? Well most of them are right. With that said, my type of "realist" thought provides ample views for all points on the spectrum, but with the ever present awareness that there are exceptions to every rule, solutions to every unanswerable question and a probability for any real event. Like any philosophy, it is one to be constantly modified and adapted to personal experience. That modification process could also be considered an application, since it takes place through self evaluation and a cataloging of possible solutions, along with their probabilities, usually mentally or (as is the case with myself) through any and everything that I write.


As a realist, I have to operate with certain foundational principles

RESPECT THE F*CKING MAJORITY, NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU HATE IT

Under a given set of circumstances, one of the more simple indicators of what will happen at any given moment is what happens the majority of the time. As I previously stated, there are exceptions to every rule and the majority in no way is always correct. But what is real is that majority probabilities dictate likely events. Thus an understanding of how things work most times is invaluable to the realist. That includes how people think and work as well.

EMOTIONS ARE ACTUAL AND THUS SHOULD BE ACKNOWLEDGED FOR EVALUATION--HOWEVER, THEY ARE ABSTRACT--THAT MEANS THEY CAN BE DISMISSED THROUGH WILLPOWER AND PRACTICE

One of the advantages to realism is the positive effect it can have on personal resiliency. For the most part, our initial reactions to problems are emotional. We get mad, sad, confused or bitter about some things. Other times we can be exceptionally happy, hopeful or motivated. Bottom line is most emotional decisions are bad ones. so when I face a problem these days, I have my moments, but then it's time to focus on the situation at hand and what can be done to fix it.

However, realists know that although reacting emotionally or dwelling in emotions is dangerous, those reactions are indicators of our person, and thus should be recognized, cataloged and interpreted later objectively.

THE REALIST APPROACH VALUES SOLUTIONS THAT ACCOUNT FOR WHAT'S REAL--DUH.....THE SOLUTIONS TO MY PROBLEMS RARELY, IF EVER ARE IDEAL....BUT THEY REFLECT THE REALITIES OF MY CURRENT PERSPECTIVE AND ANY GIVEN SITUATION

Here's where I bump heads with a lot of people, but it really doesn't matter. Once I evaluate a situation and have, what I believe at least, to be a pretty accurate understanding of the probabilities, I craft solutions that account for four things mainly:

·  my willingness and ability to do something in the short term

·  my ethics, personal beliefs and convictions

·  the likelihood of reaching my long term goal, given I follow through on the short term aspects of my solution

·  when other people are involved--their most likely action/response in a given situation

After this filtration of sorts, the solutions/actualities aren't always ideal (especially that last one) nor might they support any conventional stream of thought, but it doesn't matter. My goal is to come up with solutions/conclusions that account for these factors and any others that may prove relevant. I do this in the way most appropriate to my understanding of a situation.

Another thing: probabilities are indeed assumptions and can lead to conclusions interpreted as generalizations.....No sh*t sherlock!!! Generalizations are the way of the world, our personal shortcuts. The difference is a realist recognizes the possibility of anomalies, exceptions and just flat out being wrong. So we always maintain an open mind. However, those assumptions can be good things


Exhibit A

People are fickle and emotional in most situations. It's upon that premise that most times, I choose to maintain personal independence....Realists travel their own path, think their own thoughts and respect everything on the outside inasmuch it gives them perspective from which to draw.



WHAT'S DONE IN THE SHORT RUN, DETERMINES THE LONG RUN---SO PROGRESS MEANS TAKING STEPS

Understand this---the way to affect the long term probabilities in your life is by making the smaller, short term decisions. In most cases (some people get lucky...or unlucky), a specific set of actions will create a desired result. The possible combinations of those actions are limitless, and some might not even be necessary given some other factor, but it is the responsibility of the realist to get their priorities (and subsequently probabilities) in order.

Realist Thoughts Vol. 1--The Implacable Affliction: Love

For those of you who really don't feel like reading, here's the whole thing in a sentence: Love is like the lottery, you can only dream of ever getting it, but the best time to get it, is when you're already stable; So pay your bills, invest your efforts, and hope that it finds you.


Love. It's the one thing that truly has nothing to do with people. It's by chance, yes by chance, that people even fall in love at all. I might say that love can be based on the actions of another, that if you're some combination of desirable things, someone will "love you". However, evidence and history suggest the contrary. Everywhere we look, we see "love". We see the tired expressions of it. The flowers, the money, the affection, the PDA, the this and that. That's not love. That's what you call a pathetic effort to authenticate what isn't real, and a catering to the positive behaviors of another, the norm, the obligation to paint a certain picture, to create a particular atmosphere. Might I remind you, the only need to create something is in the event it isn't there. Again, this is not love.

So what is love then? Love, that gambling star of fate, is more readily seen in the harshness of futile actions. In other words, the reason love is so rare, is that the chances of it being reciprocated substantially are very low. As long as there is such a thing as a past, as long as we are subject to the ideas of those around us and subsequently continue to create our own definitions of love, further corrupting its nature, we prolong any chance of love finding us.

In its nature, its rawest sense, love is an unexplained devotion to another, regardless of circumstance or condition. It is an irrational belief that your being is undoubtedly connected with another. It isn't logical. Love is not "you do good by me and I'll love you", it's someone ripping your heart out and stepping on it and you still, against every ounce of sense your possess, can't stop loving them.  Love is the inevitable sacrifice of identity. This lack of return. It it is so rare to find two people who understand love is but one piece to the puzzle. Perhaps you've experienced love before first coming to this realization. If so, then you have seen the hell love can be. But for you, my friend, there is hope.

There is only one hope to be found by love. Educate yourself. Know that love in and of itself isn't enough for a good relationship. And know that love is separate from all those things that really matter: compatibility, communication, common interests, physical attraction. You see, all these things together make for an environment that would lure that fateful love to your side. Even then, you can't expect it (love). But if it does come, be with someone whom you would want to fall in love. Don't force it. Affection and love are two totally independent things. Worst case, you might argue love is a type of affection. But as we all know you can love and hate a person at the same time. Relationships don't serve the purpose of loving one another, but rather loving one another serves the purpose of a relationship. Understand that second statement. Loving one another serves the purpose of a relationship. In other words. Don't dream about love. Find people who make you happy. Be in relationships with those people. And let love find its way to you, so that it can make heaven out of something already beautiful.