The unfortunate truth about love is it doesn't make sense. I'm always talking about the dangers in seeking external validation and how horrible it is to base your happiness on something outside yourself, but I find it so difficult to practice what I preach sometimes. Anywho, on with today's post--Top Ten Tips on Love (in no particular order). Over the next few days, I'll explain each of these in detail. Enjoy.
1. Don't Compromise Your Standards or Settle
2. Always Take Steps to Improve Yourself
3. When People Show You Who They Are, Believe Them
4. To Thine Own Self, Be True
5. Sometimes Being Alone is the Best Way to Go
6. Always Cover Your A$$
7. Stick By Your Decisions
8. Don't Be Dependent
9. If You're Not Friends, You're Not a Real Couple
10. Maintain Adequate Spacing
*BONUS*
11. Don't Play With People's Emotions
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Excerpt of a Sermon on Self-Examination-Circa 1858
A Sermon
(No. 218)
Delivered on Sabbath Morning, October 10, 1858, by the REV. C. H. Spurgeon at the Music Hall, Royal Surrey Gardens.
HAD
INTENDED to address you this morning from the third title given to our
blessed Redeemer, in the verse we have considered twice
before—"Wonderful, Counsellor, the mighty God;" but owing to
excruciating pain and continual sickness, I have been unable to gather
my thoughts together, and therefore I feel constrained to address you on
a subject which has often been upon my heart and not unfrequently upon
my lips, and concerning which, I dare say, I have admonished a very
large proportion of this audience before. You will find the text in the
thirteenth chapter of the second epistle to the Corinthians, at the
fifth verse—"Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith; prove
your own selves. Know ye not your own selves, how that Jesus Christ is
in you, except ye be reprobates?"—a solemn text, that we cannot preach too impressively, or too frequently meditate.
The
Corinthians were the critics of the apostles' age. They took to
themselves great credit for skill in learning and in language, and as
most men do who are wise in their own esteem, they made a wrong use of
their wisdom and learning—they began to criticise the apostle Paul. They
criticised his style. "His letters," say they, "are weighty and
powerful, but his bodily presence is weak and his speech contemptible."
Nay, not content with that, they went so far as to deny his apostleship,
and for once in his life, the apostle Paul found himself compelled to
"become a fool in glorying; for," says he, "ye have compelled me: for I
ought to have been commended of you: for in nothing am I behind the very
chiefest apostles, though I be nothing." The apostle wrote two letters
to them; in both he is compelled to upbraid them while he defends
himself, and when he had fully disarmed his opponents, and wrested the
sword of their criticism out of their hands, he pointed it at their own
breasts, saying, "'Examine yourselves.' You have disputed my doctrine;
examine whether ye be in the faith. You have made me prove my
apostleship; 'prove your own selves.' Use the powers which you have been
so wrongfully exercising upon me for a little season upon your own
characters."
And now,
my dear friends, the fault of the Corinthians is the fault of the
present age. Let not any one of you, as he goeth out of the house of
God, say unto his neighbour. "How did you like the preacher? What did
you think of the sermon this morning?" Is that the question you should
ask as you retire from God's house? Do you come here to judge God's
servants? I know it is but a small thing unto us to be judged of man's
judgment; for our judgment is of the Lord our God; to our own Master we
shall stand or fall. But, O men! ye should ask a question more
profitable unto yourselves than this. Ye should say, "Did not
such-and-such a speech strike me? Did not that exactly consort with my
condition? Was that not a rebuke that I deserve, a word of reproof or of
exhortation? Let me take unto myself that which I have heard, and let
me not judge the preacher, for he is God's messenger to my soul: I came
up here to be judged of God's Word, and not to judge God's Word myself."
But since there is in all our hearts a great backwardness to
self-examination, I shall lay out myself for a few minutes this morning,
earnestly to exhort myself, and all of you, to examine ourselves
whether we be in the faith.
Read the Whole Thing Here
http://www.spurgeon.org/sermons/0218.htm
Delivered on Sabbath Morning, October 10, 1858, by the REV. C. H. Spurgeon at the Music Hall, Royal Surrey Gardens.
"Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith; prove your own selves. Know ye not your own selves, how that Jesus Christ is in you, except ye be reprobates."—2 Corinthians 13:5.
HAD
INTENDED to address you this morning from the third title given to our
blessed Redeemer, in the verse we have considered twice
before—"Wonderful, Counsellor, the mighty God;" but owing to
excruciating pain and continual sickness, I have been unable to gather
my thoughts together, and therefore I feel constrained to address you on
a subject which has often been upon my heart and not unfrequently upon
my lips, and concerning which, I dare say, I have admonished a very
large proportion of this audience before. You will find the text in the
thirteenth chapter of the second epistle to the Corinthians, at the
fifth verse—"Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith; prove
your own selves. Know ye not your own selves, how that Jesus Christ is
in you, except ye be reprobates?"—a solemn text, that we cannot preach too impressively, or too frequently meditate.The
Corinthians were the critics of the apostles' age. They took to
themselves great credit for skill in learning and in language, and as
most men do who are wise in their own esteem, they made a wrong use of
their wisdom and learning—they began to criticise the apostle Paul. They
criticised his style. "His letters," say they, "are weighty and
powerful, but his bodily presence is weak and his speech contemptible."
Nay, not content with that, they went so far as to deny his apostleship,
and for once in his life, the apostle Paul found himself compelled to
"become a fool in glorying; for," says he, "ye have compelled me: for I
ought to have been commended of you: for in nothing am I behind the very
chiefest apostles, though I be nothing." The apostle wrote two letters
to them; in both he is compelled to upbraid them while he defends
himself, and when he had fully disarmed his opponents, and wrested the
sword of their criticism out of their hands, he pointed it at their own
breasts, saying, "'Examine yourselves.' You have disputed my doctrine;
examine whether ye be in the faith. You have made me prove my
apostleship; 'prove your own selves.' Use the powers which you have been
so wrongfully exercising upon me for a little season upon your own
characters."And now,
my dear friends, the fault of the Corinthians is the fault of the
present age. Let not any one of you, as he goeth out of the house of
God, say unto his neighbour. "How did you like the preacher? What did
you think of the sermon this morning?" Is that the question you should
ask as you retire from God's house? Do you come here to judge God's
servants? I know it is but a small thing unto us to be judged of man's
judgment; for our judgment is of the Lord our God; to our own Master we
shall stand or fall. But, O men! ye should ask a question more
profitable unto yourselves than this. Ye should say, "Did not
such-and-such a speech strike me? Did not that exactly consort with my
condition? Was that not a rebuke that I deserve, a word of reproof or of
exhortation? Let me take unto myself that which I have heard, and let
me not judge the preacher, for he is God's messenger to my soul: I came
up here to be judged of God's Word, and not to judge God's Word myself."
But since there is in all our hearts a great backwardness to
self-examination, I shall lay out myself for a few minutes this morning,
earnestly to exhort myself, and all of you, to examine ourselves
whether we be in the faith.Read the Whole Thing Here
http://www.spurgeon.org/sermons/0218.htm
Start Your Day How You Want to Finish It--Good!
How many times have you heard "Today is the first day of the rest of your life?" Too many to count right? As cliche as the phrase may be, it holds some truth. Each day is the opportunity to make change. Change begins with the little steps you take day by day. Rather than being overwhelmed at the prospect of getting things done, focus on the present moment and embrace it fully. When you first wake up, decide what it is you want to do at that exact moment. Choose a task that's different, but don't spend too much time thinking about it. The first thing you do shouldn't be something you feel like you have to do--it should be something you want to do. That means not checking emails or your phone, switching on the television, or thinking about the laundry list of things you have to do for the day. Pick something simple, yet productive. You have a whole 24 hours to do the rest of that stuff so no need to rush into it.
Once you pick a task, do it and invest your mind completely into it. Afterwards, you can focus on doing something else. As the day goes by, you'll begin to notice how much you've achieved in the short span of a day. Just be sure the actions you engage in throughout the day are positive and productive.
Top Ten Things You Can Do to Start a Productive Day
Shower and Get Dressed
This one may seem obvious, but it's all in how you look at things. A hot shower can be very refreshing. While the water hits your skin, enjoy the feeling it creates. Think about good things as you clean. Take your time and admire every part of yourself.
Clean Up
Cleanliness is next to godliness. Cleaning up, while it may seem like a chore, is a great way to start a productive day. Clutter and disorganization are bothersome. Before you dive into the day, make your bed, clean your tables, sweep and create order in your space.
Pray/Meditate
This is your opportunity to clear your mind of negative thoughts. You're probably saying "I just woke up. I don't have any negative thoughts." Believe it or not, you probably do. Consciously acknowledge any pressure you're feeling because of worry or anxiety and replace those thoughts with positive affirmations about the upcoming day. Take deep breaths and become one with the current moment. When you're finished, you'll feel more at peace.
Read Something Inspirational
You can never go wrong starting your day with inspiration. Morning newscasts can be depressing because of all the drama going on in the world at any given point. Also, you don't want to start your day with media conditioning. Feed your mind with positive information when you wake up.
Write
Like praying and meditating, writing is an opportunity for a mental dump. In the morning, the goal is to provide yourself with a clean slate and aim for productive tasks. Writing and being creative is a wonderful way to release. It doesn't matter what or how much you write, just do it.
Tell someone good morning
So many people wake up angry. A simple good morning may be enough to put them back in a good mood. It's also a selfless, generous thing to do.
Look in the Mirror and Smile
Be happy for the opportunity to be you yet another day. Look in the mirror and smile. Take note of the image and allow it to permeate your brain. Remind yourself you're unique and beautiful.
Stretch
In the morning, your body isn't loose. You're typically feeling tight and crumpled. Stretching can be a great means of stress reduction. Feeling limber and light will help get you off to an active start for the day.
Go Outside
Nature is the most beautiful alarm you can hope for. Stepping outside in the morning can be an inspiring, peaceful experience. Experience nature. Hear the birds singing, feel the calm of a morning breeze, admire the trees swaying to and fro while the squirrels hop along the branches. Nature has a tendency of putting everything in perspective.
Exercise
What's better than getting the blood rushing a bit? A short walk or run will prepare your body for the day's activity and you burn calories while you're at it. Exercising releases serotonin which elevates dopamine, a pleasure chemical into your brain.
Top Ten Things You Can Do to Start a Productive Day
Shower and Get Dressed
This one may seem obvious, but it's all in how you look at things. A hot shower can be very refreshing. While the water hits your skin, enjoy the feeling it creates. Think about good things as you clean. Take your time and admire every part of yourself.
Clean Up
Cleanliness is next to godliness. Cleaning up, while it may seem like a chore, is a great way to start a productive day. Clutter and disorganization are bothersome. Before you dive into the day, make your bed, clean your tables, sweep and create order in your space.
Pray/Meditate
This is your opportunity to clear your mind of negative thoughts. You're probably saying "I just woke up. I don't have any negative thoughts." Believe it or not, you probably do. Consciously acknowledge any pressure you're feeling because of worry or anxiety and replace those thoughts with positive affirmations about the upcoming day. Take deep breaths and become one with the current moment. When you're finished, you'll feel more at peace.
Read Something Inspirational
You can never go wrong starting your day with inspiration. Morning newscasts can be depressing because of all the drama going on in the world at any given point. Also, you don't want to start your day with media conditioning. Feed your mind with positive information when you wake up.
Write
Like praying and meditating, writing is an opportunity for a mental dump. In the morning, the goal is to provide yourself with a clean slate and aim for productive tasks. Writing and being creative is a wonderful way to release. It doesn't matter what or how much you write, just do it.
Tell someone good morning
So many people wake up angry. A simple good morning may be enough to put them back in a good mood. It's also a selfless, generous thing to do.
Look in the Mirror and Smile
Be happy for the opportunity to be you yet another day. Look in the mirror and smile. Take note of the image and allow it to permeate your brain. Remind yourself you're unique and beautiful.
Stretch
In the morning, your body isn't loose. You're typically feeling tight and crumpled. Stretching can be a great means of stress reduction. Feeling limber and light will help get you off to an active start for the day.
Go Outside
Nature is the most beautiful alarm you can hope for. Stepping outside in the morning can be an inspiring, peaceful experience. Experience nature. Hear the birds singing, feel the calm of a morning breeze, admire the trees swaying to and fro while the squirrels hop along the branches. Nature has a tendency of putting everything in perspective.
Exercise
What's better than getting the blood rushing a bit? A short walk or run will prepare your body for the day's activity and you burn calories while you're at it. Exercising releases serotonin which elevates dopamine, a pleasure chemical into your brain.
Friday, February 3, 2012
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
The Black Man's Plight
For the most part, Black men exist within the confines of their environments and are shaped by the ideas and perceptions of those around them and the
media. Their ideas of their own education and mental ability are informed by bias accounts of the media, music and entertainment. Much like Carter G. Woodson suggested in The Miseducation of the Negro, when it
comes to erasing the plight of the Black male the focus should not be
on changing external factors. Rather, we must reshape the way Black
males think. Of all the above factors, the one most effective in dealing
with the issues of Black male underachievement is education and mental
awareness. If a man thinks he can beat his situation, then everything
else will follow. It's the motivation of our men that is essential to
defeating the negative influences prevalent in our society.
What is it that keeps Black males from making the right decisions? What forces Black men to choose the path that reinforces negative stereotypes about them? I could say it's due to the lack of positive things going on around them, provide a sociological explanation: the lack of encouragement, resources, etc. But is that really the issue? I'm more inclined inclined to believe it's the fact that Black men don't take the time to evaluate who they are and what they want and they rather live re-actively. Instead of seeing, perceiving and making an informed decision to do something, they simply let their surroundings determine what they are going to do next. They essentially conform to the incorrect definitions of their person.
Although circumstances have a profound effect on the number of options one has, no situation can strip one of their free will, their ability to decide to overcome. How do we get Black males to think for themselves?
What is it that keeps Black males from making the right decisions? What forces Black men to choose the path that reinforces negative stereotypes about them? I could say it's due to the lack of positive things going on around them, provide a sociological explanation: the lack of encouragement, resources, etc. But is that really the issue? I'm more inclined inclined to believe it's the fact that Black men don't take the time to evaluate who they are and what they want and they rather live re-actively. Instead of seeing, perceiving and making an informed decision to do something, they simply let their surroundings determine what they are going to do next. They essentially conform to the incorrect definitions of their person.
Although circumstances have a profound effect on the number of options one has, no situation can strip one of their free will, their ability to decide to overcome. How do we get Black males to think for themselves?
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Building Self Confidence: Defining Your Own Truths and Creating Your Reality
Self-confidence starts with internal
motivation. People who are self-confident define their own positive truths
about themselves and their capabilities. Those who lack self-confidence have
allowed the outside world to influence their self-perception. The media,
friends, family, they all will try to tell you how you should feel about
yourself. They want you to believe their truths. However, once you separate from
the reality and truth born from outside influences, you can establish a new set
of internal truths and create your own positive reality.
The best way to create a positive
reality and establish positive truths is to optimize your own thoughts and
actions, your own time and effort. This new truth, defined through maximizing
personal resources, becomes productivity, advancement, and forward thinking.
The power of personal, productive truth, springing forth from the inside, is
unlimited.
Those with self-confidence are in control. By defining your reality from within, your mind becomes a tool for manipulating the world around you. Manipulation isn't a bad thing. The connotations around that word are overstated. It is in this case, adapting to your situation, and creating what you have decided is an optimal outcome.
Find and locate ways to make the universe an open stage rather than a prison. Here are examples of positive internal truths that will help you build self-confidence. For your positive reality to manifest on the outside, you must believe in these truths on the inside.
1. You are and will always be a product of greatness, so therefore your actions are tailored to maintain such. Because of this, your every word, every behavior, every decision is based in making not only yourself comfortable, but every person around me.
2. Your interactions are designed as opportunities to make positive, productive impressions that last. Create in every person a curious urge, a thirst for that "it" factor.
3.Design your endeavors around maximizing your potential for greatness. Carry yourself with the confidence and knowledge that your destiny is fullness and abundance. Drill this belief into your head and delete from your thoughts anything contradictory to it.
4. Negativity is naught. It does not exist. To eliminate it is of utmost importance.
5. Harnessing creative potential, you can separate yourself from those who at first glance, are similar to you. This is the definition of personal style, the collective of your personality and abilities, your practice, your walk, your swagger.
With these things in mind, you have set the groundwork for building and maintaining an effective level of self-confidence. As you optimize your thoughts, establish a foundation of internal truth. Live by those truths and never forsake them.
Those with self-confidence are in control. By defining your reality from within, your mind becomes a tool for manipulating the world around you. Manipulation isn't a bad thing. The connotations around that word are overstated. It is in this case, adapting to your situation, and creating what you have decided is an optimal outcome.
Find and locate ways to make the universe an open stage rather than a prison. Here are examples of positive internal truths that will help you build self-confidence. For your positive reality to manifest on the outside, you must believe in these truths on the inside.
1. You are and will always be a product of greatness, so therefore your actions are tailored to maintain such. Because of this, your every word, every behavior, every decision is based in making not only yourself comfortable, but every person around me.
2. Your interactions are designed as opportunities to make positive, productive impressions that last. Create in every person a curious urge, a thirst for that "it" factor.
3.Design your endeavors around maximizing your potential for greatness. Carry yourself with the confidence and knowledge that your destiny is fullness and abundance. Drill this belief into your head and delete from your thoughts anything contradictory to it.
4. Negativity is naught. It does not exist. To eliminate it is of utmost importance.
5. Harnessing creative potential, you can separate yourself from those who at first glance, are similar to you. This is the definition of personal style, the collective of your personality and abilities, your practice, your walk, your swagger.
With these things in mind, you have set the groundwork for building and maintaining an effective level of self-confidence. As you optimize your thoughts, establish a foundation of internal truth. Live by those truths and never forsake them.
The Essence of a True Friend: On Interaction (Thank you)
Our
friends, our families, the people we come across and converse with for a
moment in the eternity of life, they all serve a very real purpose that
it's to our advantage to understand. The people in my life have all
revealed themselves in some way as to how they serve (or served) a role
in my life and growth. For a while we assume we know the roles of
people, we create these assumptions based on societal understanding and
standards independent of what's actual, real and in front of our eyes.
Until we break through that wall of assumption, we never understand the
essence of a true friend.
Some feel blood, maybe time,emotional, material or informative gain defines what a person means to us. And that is fine, but what truly teaches beyond that is the motivation. The motivation and nature of the heart of the person defines what they mean for us.
Have you ever wondered why some friends seem so real and others don't? Why there are some people who you might not see for years who you have genuine interaction with and some "friends" you see everyday you never form that real bond with? It's because a real friend's heart is after love. A true friend. And a heart after love is concerned with the life of other people. A true friend doesn't seek what they can gain from another, but what they can give to people in light of their wisdom, knowledge and resources. When these types of people come together, you have the truest, most productive friendship you can ever imagine. It's why as we mature, even in the absence of those we grew to see as our friends, there is still much to talk about and share among people who've reached this understanding. It's why real friends are rare. Friendship is the manifestation of love. Without love and a natural, authentic concern for what you can give to people, your friendships will fail or succumb to things like time, absence, and circumstance.
Ever wonder why you can sometimes come across a person you don't even know, who might notice you're sad or just wants to talk and you have the most fulfilling conversation you've ever had? As if this person has known you for a lifetime? If a person obtains a loving nature and a heart after caring, that carries over into all interactions, not just friendships. A person with such a nature is a friend to everyone, because the entire foundation of a friendship is love and one who loves befriends.
The people around me have all shown their motivations. It's not a coincidence that some people I once trusted or loved are no longer parts of my life. They exhausted whatever temporary and baseless resource they had to share or exhausted their use of me and now lack any reason to deal with me and I with them. That's what it means to "grow out" of a person. Love is infinite. If a person loves you and gives you love, they will never run out of love to give. If you love them back, you'll come to find there is a never ending supply and this is why friendships of this type last forever, through thick and through thin, and overcome whatever obstacles come in the way. Love is all powerful.
So I implore you consider the hearts of those you interact with. Everyone you come in contact with should see that love coming from you and should give you love the same. Their minds and hearts should be selfless and their purpose in talking to you should be to share and gain things of substance, not temporary matters that leave at the first wind of change. Motives are everything, and as such should be kept in mind at all times for yourself and others.
You should be thankful for the friends you have that have a real concern for the state of your being, for the lessons that you learn and their role in your growth as an individual. The fruits thereof are peace and endurance in your relationship. Be thankful for the people no longer in your life because they lacked love and be thankful that you possess this nature because it ensures positive vibes all around you. And love will most certainly attract love and in most cases influence change for the better. I thank every friend I have who has loved me in spite of. For what in all this Earth is closer to God than love?
Some feel blood, maybe time,emotional, material or informative gain defines what a person means to us. And that is fine, but what truly teaches beyond that is the motivation. The motivation and nature of the heart of the person defines what they mean for us.
Have you ever wondered why some friends seem so real and others don't? Why there are some people who you might not see for years who you have genuine interaction with and some "friends" you see everyday you never form that real bond with? It's because a real friend's heart is after love. A true friend. And a heart after love is concerned with the life of other people. A true friend doesn't seek what they can gain from another, but what they can give to people in light of their wisdom, knowledge and resources. When these types of people come together, you have the truest, most productive friendship you can ever imagine. It's why as we mature, even in the absence of those we grew to see as our friends, there is still much to talk about and share among people who've reached this understanding. It's why real friends are rare. Friendship is the manifestation of love. Without love and a natural, authentic concern for what you can give to people, your friendships will fail or succumb to things like time, absence, and circumstance.
Ever wonder why you can sometimes come across a person you don't even know, who might notice you're sad or just wants to talk and you have the most fulfilling conversation you've ever had? As if this person has known you for a lifetime? If a person obtains a loving nature and a heart after caring, that carries over into all interactions, not just friendships. A person with such a nature is a friend to everyone, because the entire foundation of a friendship is love and one who loves befriends.
The people around me have all shown their motivations. It's not a coincidence that some people I once trusted or loved are no longer parts of my life. They exhausted whatever temporary and baseless resource they had to share or exhausted their use of me and now lack any reason to deal with me and I with them. That's what it means to "grow out" of a person. Love is infinite. If a person loves you and gives you love, they will never run out of love to give. If you love them back, you'll come to find there is a never ending supply and this is why friendships of this type last forever, through thick and through thin, and overcome whatever obstacles come in the way. Love is all powerful.
So I implore you consider the hearts of those you interact with. Everyone you come in contact with should see that love coming from you and should give you love the same. Their minds and hearts should be selfless and their purpose in talking to you should be to share and gain things of substance, not temporary matters that leave at the first wind of change. Motives are everything, and as such should be kept in mind at all times for yourself and others.
You should be thankful for the friends you have that have a real concern for the state of your being, for the lessons that you learn and their role in your growth as an individual. The fruits thereof are peace and endurance in your relationship. Be thankful for the people no longer in your life because they lacked love and be thankful that you possess this nature because it ensures positive vibes all around you. And love will most certainly attract love and in most cases influence change for the better. I thank every friend I have who has loved me in spite of. For what in all this Earth is closer to God than love?
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
The Rules of Realist Thought
The beauty of realism is seeing things for what they truly
are. Another cool thing about it is it allows you to give equal credence to
fleeting emotions and the reality of the circumstances around you. Realists
don't place their hopes in the impractical (idealists), nor are they ignorant
enough to believe they have no control over their own world (pessimistic
victims). Bad things really do happen, so no optimistic illusions, and as for
cynics? Well most of them are right. With that said, my type of
"realist" thought provides ample views for all points on the spectrum,
but with the ever present awareness that there are exceptions to every rule,
solutions to every unanswerable question and a probability for any real event.
Like any philosophy, it is one to be constantly modified and adapted to
personal experience. That modification process could also be considered an
application, since it takes place through self evaluation and a cataloging of
possible solutions, along with their probabilities, usually mentally or (as is
the case with myself) through any and everything that I write.
As a realist, I have to operate with certain foundational principles
RESPECT THE F*CKING MAJORITY, NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU HATE IT
Under a given set of circumstances, one of the more simple indicators of what will happen at any given moment is what happens the majority of the time. As I previously stated, there are exceptions to every rule and the majority in no way is always correct. But what is real is that majority probabilities dictate likely events. Thus an understanding of how things work most times is invaluable to the realist. That includes how people think and work as well.
EMOTIONS ARE ACTUAL AND THUS SHOULD BE ACKNOWLEDGED FOR EVALUATION--HOWEVER, THEY ARE ABSTRACT--THAT MEANS THEY CAN BE DISMISSED THROUGH WILLPOWER AND PRACTICE
One of the advantages to realism is the positive effect it can have on personal resiliency. For the most part, our initial reactions to problems are emotional. We get mad, sad, confused or bitter about some things. Other times we can be exceptionally happy, hopeful or motivated. Bottom line is most emotional decisions are bad ones. so when I face a problem these days, I have my moments, but then it's time to focus on the situation at hand and what can be done to fix it.
However, realists know that although reacting emotionally or dwelling in emotions is dangerous, those reactions are indicators of our person, and thus should be recognized, cataloged and interpreted later objectively.
THE REALIST APPROACH VALUES SOLUTIONS THAT ACCOUNT FOR WHAT'S REAL--DUH.....THE SOLUTIONS TO MY PROBLEMS RARELY, IF EVER ARE IDEAL....BUT THEY REFLECT THE REALITIES OF MY CURRENT PERSPECTIVE AND ANY GIVEN SITUATION
Here's where I bump heads with a lot of people, but it really doesn't matter. Once I evaluate a situation and have, what I believe at least, to be a pretty accurate understanding of the probabilities, I craft solutions that account for four things mainly:
As a realist, I have to operate with certain foundational principles
RESPECT THE F*CKING MAJORITY, NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU HATE IT
Under a given set of circumstances, one of the more simple indicators of what will happen at any given moment is what happens the majority of the time. As I previously stated, there are exceptions to every rule and the majority in no way is always correct. But what is real is that majority probabilities dictate likely events. Thus an understanding of how things work most times is invaluable to the realist. That includes how people think and work as well.
EMOTIONS ARE ACTUAL AND THUS SHOULD BE ACKNOWLEDGED FOR EVALUATION--HOWEVER, THEY ARE ABSTRACT--THAT MEANS THEY CAN BE DISMISSED THROUGH WILLPOWER AND PRACTICE
One of the advantages to realism is the positive effect it can have on personal resiliency. For the most part, our initial reactions to problems are emotional. We get mad, sad, confused or bitter about some things. Other times we can be exceptionally happy, hopeful or motivated. Bottom line is most emotional decisions are bad ones. so when I face a problem these days, I have my moments, but then it's time to focus on the situation at hand and what can be done to fix it.
However, realists know that although reacting emotionally or dwelling in emotions is dangerous, those reactions are indicators of our person, and thus should be recognized, cataloged and interpreted later objectively.
THE REALIST APPROACH VALUES SOLUTIONS THAT ACCOUNT FOR WHAT'S REAL--DUH.....THE SOLUTIONS TO MY PROBLEMS RARELY, IF EVER ARE IDEAL....BUT THEY REFLECT THE REALITIES OF MY CURRENT PERSPECTIVE AND ANY GIVEN SITUATION
Here's where I bump heads with a lot of people, but it really doesn't matter. Once I evaluate a situation and have, what I believe at least, to be a pretty accurate understanding of the probabilities, I craft solutions that account for four things mainly:
·
my willingness and ability to do something in the short term
·
my ethics, personal beliefs and convictions
·
the likelihood of reaching my long term goal, given I follow through on
the short term aspects of my solution
· when other people
are involved--their most likely action/response in a given situation
After this filtration of sorts, the solutions/actualities aren't always ideal (especially that last one) nor might they support any conventional stream of thought, but it doesn't matter. My goal is to come up with solutions/conclusions that account for these factors and any others that may prove relevant. I do this in the way most appropriate to my understanding of a situation.
Another thing: probabilities are indeed assumptions and can lead to conclusions interpreted as generalizations.....No sh*t sherlock!!! Generalizations are the way of the world, our personal shortcuts. The difference is a realist recognizes the possibility of anomalies, exceptions and just flat out being wrong. So we always maintain an open mind. However, those assumptions can be good things
Exhibit A
People are fickle and emotional in most situations. It's upon that premise that most times, I choose to maintain personal independence....Realists travel their own path, think their own thoughts and respect everything on the outside inasmuch it gives them perspective from which to draw.
WHAT'S DONE IN THE SHORT RUN, DETERMINES THE LONG RUN---SO PROGRESS MEANS TAKING STEPS
Understand this---the way to affect the long term probabilities in your life is by making the smaller, short term decisions. In most cases (some people get lucky...or unlucky), a specific set of actions will create a desired result. The possible combinations of those actions are limitless, and some might not even be necessary given some other factor, but it is the responsibility of the realist to get their priorities (and subsequently probabilities) in order.
After this filtration of sorts, the solutions/actualities aren't always ideal (especially that last one) nor might they support any conventional stream of thought, but it doesn't matter. My goal is to come up with solutions/conclusions that account for these factors and any others that may prove relevant. I do this in the way most appropriate to my understanding of a situation.
Another thing: probabilities are indeed assumptions and can lead to conclusions interpreted as generalizations.....No sh*t sherlock!!! Generalizations are the way of the world, our personal shortcuts. The difference is a realist recognizes the possibility of anomalies, exceptions and just flat out being wrong. So we always maintain an open mind. However, those assumptions can be good things
Exhibit A
People are fickle and emotional in most situations. It's upon that premise that most times, I choose to maintain personal independence....Realists travel their own path, think their own thoughts and respect everything on the outside inasmuch it gives them perspective from which to draw.
WHAT'S DONE IN THE SHORT RUN, DETERMINES THE LONG RUN---SO PROGRESS MEANS TAKING STEPS
Understand this---the way to affect the long term probabilities in your life is by making the smaller, short term decisions. In most cases (some people get lucky...or unlucky), a specific set of actions will create a desired result. The possible combinations of those actions are limitless, and some might not even be necessary given some other factor, but it is the responsibility of the realist to get their priorities (and subsequently probabilities) in order.
Realist Thoughts Vol. 1--The Implacable Affliction: Love
For those of you who really don't feel
like reading, here's the whole thing in a sentence: Love is like the
lottery, you can only dream of ever getting it, but the best time to get it, is
when you're already stable; So pay your bills, invest your efforts, and hope
that it finds you.Love. It's the one thing that truly has nothing to do with people. It's by chance, yes by chance, that people even fall in love at all. I might say that love can be based on the actions of another, that if you're some combination of desirable things, someone will "love you". However, evidence and history suggest the contrary. Everywhere we look, we see "love". We see the tired expressions of it. The flowers, the money, the affection, the PDA, the this and that. That's not love. That's what you call a pathetic effort to authenticate what isn't real, and a catering to the positive behaviors of another, the norm, the obligation to paint a certain picture, to create a particular atmosphere. Might I remind you, the only need to create something is in the event it isn't there. Again, this is not love.
So what is love then? Love, that gambling star of fate, is more readily seen in the harshness of futile actions. In other words, the reason love is so rare, is that the chances of it being reciprocated substantially are very low. As long as there is such a thing as a past, as long as we are subject to the ideas of those around us and subsequently continue to create our own definitions of love, further corrupting its nature, we prolong any chance of love finding us.
In its nature, its rawest sense, love is an unexplained devotion to another, regardless of circumstance or condition. It is an irrational belief that your being is undoubtedly connected with another. It isn't logical. Love is not "you do good by me and I'll love you", it's someone ripping your heart out and stepping on it and you still, against every ounce of sense your possess, can't stop loving them. Love is the inevitable sacrifice of identity. This lack of return. It it is so rare to find two people who understand love is but one piece to the puzzle. Perhaps you've experienced love before first coming to this realization. If so, then you have seen the hell love can be. But for you, my friend, there is hope.
There is only one hope to be found by love. Educate yourself. Know that love in and of itself isn't enough for a good relationship. And know that love is separate from all those things that really matter: compatibility, communication, common interests, physical attraction. You see, all these things together make for an environment that would lure that fateful love to your side. Even then, you can't expect it (love). But if it does come, be with someone whom you would want to fall in love. Don't force it. Affection and love are two totally independent things. Worst case, you might argue love is a type of affection. But as we all know you can love and hate a person at the same time. Relationships don't serve the purpose of loving one another, but rather loving one another serves the purpose of a relationship. Understand that second statement. Loving one another serves the purpose of a relationship. In other words. Don't dream about love. Find people who make you happy. Be in relationships with those people. And let love find its way to you, so that it can make heaven out of something already beautiful.
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